Finger Job Part A

By Amy Allen

Amy Allen is a self confessed lesbian and knows what women want. Learn from her experience. Please note that these exercises are aimed at right-handed individuals.  If you are left-handed simply use your left when I say right and vice-versa. The key to success here is trust. You must be able to trust your partner and be open to change and exploration. If you aren't, then it simply won't work.  If you don't trust your partner, then don't attempt any of these methods, until you have tried to work out your issues outside the bedroom. 

What is fingering? This is the method of pleasing a woman by playing with her vagina using your hands. It's a method of masturbation and is aiming to stimulate your partners genitals. To be successful you must be able to read a woman’s reactions. Women vary in sensitivity and intensity.   You must learn to recognise this.  However, there are a few basic techniques that will apply to all!

Put them to good use! Your hands are a fantastic tool to use.  Their cheap, don't need any power- and you've got two!  However, hands are complicated.  They carry out many complicated tasks.  If you study their parts you have:  Finger tips, nails, knuckles and joints- all of which feel different.  You can use these different parts to please your partner- if you know how.

Maintenance. When using you hand to pleasure your partner, maintenance is extremely important.  To prevent cuts or infections make sure your nails are neat and short. 

If you have cuts or an infection on your hand then make sure that they have healed properly before attempting anything. 

WASH YOUR HANDS THOROUGHLY BEFORE YOU START.

Discuss an communicate!

It is very important to understand that what women get off on varies from person to person.  What may give one a fantastic orgasm may not even create a stir in another.  It is therefore very important to discuss what your partner likes and dislikes.  Don't be embarrassed- after all you'll benefit from it in the long run.  You can also tell what a woman wants by her reactions- gasps, groans etc.  If you can watch her masturbate- and then copy it.

After finding out what you woman likes it is important not to slip into a well worked routine.  After all, variety is the spice of life!  Don't become too predictable- mix up your normal routine and remember to constantly try new ideas- this will keep your woman interested and satisfied. 

Don't recycle your techniques.  Frustrating as it maybe, you have to go back to step one with every new partner- don't use the old routine on a new partner it simply won't work!

Concentrate on her! You must make your partner feel at ease and comfortable with herself.  A good starting point here, it to make sure your are comfortable with her.  She will detect this and respond to it.  You are going to see everything that she considers private- you have to earn this right.  A good way to do this is to show her that you're comfortable and that you love it!

A great way to make her feel comfortable create a relaxing, romantic atmosphere.  Turn down the lights, use scented candles and rid of anything that could disturb you.  Bring in some chilled wine, maybe champagne if you fancy it- everything contributes to the atmosphere. 

Don't be too hard! You must remember at all times to be gentle with you partners genitals.  It's not like your penis- it can't take much wear and tear.  Any pressure can create a reaction whether it be good- or bad. Most inexperienced lovers believe that most of the action takes place inside the vagina and hence begin to probe the vagina with their fingers. This isn't right- the fact is most of the action is on the outside surface, where the clitoris is. 

You must be able to understand what satisfies your women.  To find this out you must watch her when she masturbates  - she will know what does it for her.  Take note of this and copy it.

Invitation. Experienced partners who know what they and their partner wants usually start with a slow build up.  They will caress her thighs, stomach and barely touch her vaginal area.  When a woman spreads her legs, you know it's time to go a bit further.  They will then play, stroke and tease her vulva until their fingers are invited inside.

A women's mind is her most sexual orientated organ.  The anticipation of what is going to happen is just as exciting as the actual act.  Let her use her imagination by telling and describing what you are going to do to her. 

Women, on the whole need more time to feel ready than men.  By using techniques such as kissing and massaging she will feel even more aroused.  This will make her feel more relaxed and less pressured- if you are enjoying it so will she.

Lets get lubricated. Being lubricated is a really important part of fingering.  Without the right amount the experience will not only be unsuccessful, but also not enjoyable for both of you.  Women do have a natural lubricant, but like everything else it varies from one to the other- and some women don't produce enough.

This means that the only solution is to use other lubricants.  You can buy a wide range of lubricants from your local chemist, the most famous being K-Y Jelly.  But do read the labels- some aren't suitable to use with condoms, like Vaseline.  It ruins the texture of latex condoms and clogs up a women's vagina. 

If your are uncomfortable with these then use your spit- it's as good as any other!

Relax. Your wrist position and action is very important- make sure you are relaxed and comfortable.  Don't strain to reach impossible pockets- relax and find yourself a more accessible position.  It will mean that you wrist and joint will survive longer!

Those fingers. Don't worry if you have small fingers.  Like everything else they vary in length, width and size.  If you haven't got long fingers don't panic most of the massaging that will lead to your partners orgasm occurs on the outside surface of the vulva. 

Use your fingers to their greatest potential.  The reason fingering is so successful is because your fingers can do things your penis can't- bend.  Use your joints in your fingers and your hands to explore parts of your partner that your penis couldn't.

Mon Pubis. This is a unknown resource.  Most men don't realise that an orgasm can be achieved by just pressing or massaging this area.  Combine it with a finger inside her vulva for maximum pleasure. Mon Pubis is a fleshy area which sits over the female pubic bone.  It acts as protection when you are having intercourse and transmits sensation to other areas of the region when it's moved.   Experiment  with your lover with the way you grasp and play with it.  You can hold it, or simply fit to it by using the arch in your hand.  It's whatever you and your partner feel comfortable with. 

Remember practice makes perfect- see how much sensation you can produce

depending on whether her being open or completely closed.